one day rainbow dash was all chilling out and eating some nachos like nothing even mattered. she dropped one of the nachos and went down to pick it up but she saw applejack and decided not to pick it up after all
"oh hey applejack you look pretty happy today. what's that all about"
"well sugarcubes i got myself a cool new boyfriend" said applejack who seemed even happier
rainbow dash laughed "ok that's a pretty funny one there applejack but i don't think i believe you about this boyfriend thing"
applejack just turned over to the side and out from behind the tree stepped legendary computer savant Steve Jobs, who was dressed in all black clothing almost like he was about to rob someplace but not quite.
"take a look at the boyfriend i just got for myself rainbow dash"
rainbow dash was fucking jealous "applejack i am fucking jealous about this fancy boyfriend"
"thank ya sugarcube" said applejack "he wouldn't stop staring at my buttmark and so we got into a conversation about stuff and so now we're together"
steve jobs said nothing.
"ok well uh i am busy eating some nachos so go do stuff with your biped boyfriend before i get too jealous" and she turned away and ignored them both as hard as she could, stuffing nachos into her mouth until there were too many but she pretended not to care.
"ok steve jobs let's go hiking or something hahaha" said applejack, rubbing against his leg affectionately.
"applejack how do i get one of those cool buttmarks" said steve jobs as they went on the hike together
"oh uh, well the buttmark is a symbol of what makes you special, so you have to find something special about yourself in order to get one also, but i am not sure if it works for non-ponies like you"
"it had better work..." said steve jobs, silently threatening the universe.
"you're so crazy steve jobs" said applejack and just laughed but steve jobs wasn't laughing. he wanted a buttmark, and soon.
every second that he didn't have a buttmark just made him more and more angry, until soon he was frowning with the maddest face applejack had ever seen anyone make ever.
"wow steve jobs those are some pretty intense mads you have going on there, maybe we can ask the princess about the buttmark thing and if it works on non-pony creatures like yourself."
"ok yes let's talk to the princess and engineer a buttmark solution"
so they hiked over to the princess and stopped by her office
"ok yes hello steve jobs and applejack, what is it you wanted" said princess celestia
"celestia is it even possible for non-pony creatures like this steve jobs here to get a buttmark"
celestia thought about it for a moment and then asked steve jobs to turn around "this is sort of like cheating but here you go" she brushed her magic tongue over his butt and he felt the magic working right away.
"yes finally i have a magic buttmark!" said steve jobs and released his pants to view the buttmark he had just gained, but was frozen when he saw it was the Windows logo.
celestia laughed hysterically but applejack was sad
"oh no steve jobs i thought we would both have apples..."
"what does this even mean!!!!" roared steve jobs, leaving his pants behind as he ran out of the building.
he didnt even know why he was running. he knew he could never run away from that buttmark. but he was too emotional to care. he just kept running and roaring, and hating the universe, except once when he stopped for a minute to cool down and have some water
but then he kept running.
finally he ran far away from ponyville until he was out in the woods, lacking pants and depressed about his tragic buttmark situation.
"why has the universe done this to me, why is my special thing the windows logo..."
just then bill gates popped out of a bush with twigs in his hair, surprised by this sudden appearance of the steve jobs in his wilderness
"what are you doing in my wilderness steve jobs" he said menacingly
"oh hey bill gates, i am just being upset about my buttmark situation. you'd probably think this is funny" and he turned to show the buttmark to bill gates
but bill gates didn't laugh, he just walked quietly out of the bush and steve jobs saw he also wasn't wearing pants.
"steve jobs i ran out here into the wilderness a while ago because i had a similar buttmark dilema. but now that you're here i know what it means."
and steve jobs just stared with gasps as he saw that bill gates' buttmark was the apple logo.
"ok yea it makes sense now" said steve jobs, forgetting how mad he was earlier and embracing bill gates
"it was meant to be after all" said bill gates, kissing him on his bald spot
"let's have children" said steve jobs, groping his rear
"yeah ok i could do that" said bill gates, updating his twitter.
"ok we can start now" said steve jobs, forgetting about applejack completely.
Five years later they had 4 kids and released a new operating system, Macintosh XP Pro Buttmark Edition, which became the best-selling operating system ever.